I apologize for letting my blog take a back seat for a few weeks. My journey is still amazing and I’ve built up the strength to make more changes and more goals. As for the balance part, I have to say falling off the wagon for one, or two, or three days is a huge eye opener. It has happened a couple of times and it is incredible to notice a real difference.
At first when you make changes to your lifestyle, like I did by eating better and practicing yoga and meditation, etc, you don’t really notice a huge difference, at least I didn’t. Then I went away for a weekend on a Student Council Retreat, which was super awesome and a lot of fun, but I didn’t do yoga or meditation and I indulged in alcohol and a ‘slightly’ unhealthy diet. I felt off balance for at least half of the week after that! It was incredible to fall off the wagon and realize how good it felt to be on the wagon!
It made me realize just how capable I am of making a serious impact on my own life! And as I continue to push myself to believe in making myself happy, I’ve realized I have to take charge of other aspects of my life.
I know I said that the program I am studying at York will benefit me, but then I realized that maybe I was just saying that to make myself feel better about being in a program I don’t completely LOVE!
Theater and acting used to be one of the things I was insanely passionate about. I just took a summer course, Acting for Non-Majors and I fell in love with it. I loved the parts of myself it opened up (I believe it is a HUGE part of why I realized what I want to do with my life). Then I started to think about the path my past has taken. Originally in 2009 I had applied and auditioned for the theater program at York. It was one of the best days of my life. I was confident with my audition and interview and my feedback was positive enough for me to believe I was most likely getting accepted.
Then York lost all my information and said I hadn’t been to the audition or the interview. I was furious and frantic so I applied to the program that looked as appealing as possible, Professional Writing. I had taken up the hobby of writing since high school and felt it was the best fit out of all the programs I could still apply for.
Then York put me in a double major of English and Professional Writing. So I went with it. Since York is divided into colleges I was put in Stong College which is affiliated with my program. I fell in love with the Stong community and I didn’t look back. I liked my program enough that I convinced myself I had ended up in the right place. Then, very recently I became frustrated and realized “Hey, wait, weren’t you head over heels for the theater program? Why didn’t you apply again after first year?!”. I had gotten so caught up with Stong and a program I thought I liked that I forgot to remember where my true passion lies. Then as more time passed those past options seemed to fade, becoming less likely to be a plausible reality.
I’ve spent that last few weeks in a whirl wind of frustration and confusion. Do I really want to take five more years of school? (The theater program is four years and I missed the spring auditions so I have to take another year). Should I just push through for the next few years of my current program? I can’t seriously be tied down for another five years of school. Am I really willing to pay for an in between school year? But I love theater, it makes me so happy! Can I handle not being as happy as I know I could be? I had thought once or twice maybe I’ll do a masters in theater. BUT WAIT, I don’t need a masters program. My goal was to complete an undergrad then start educating myself for my business. Why don’t I just do it now?
I AM CHANGING MY MAJOR TO THEATER! I was on the fence, talking with a few people pushed me over the edge. And let me tell you, I could not be more thrilled!!! I am so stoked that I took the responsibility to make myself happy. I am a firm believer that practicing and taking part in things that make you happy and passionate opens you up to a better life.
Being creative and passionate will help me with my business and help me to walk the walk. I can’t tell people to go out and do things that make them happy when I can’t even do that for myself! I have to take risks!
Since I wont be graduating until I am twenty-eight I’ve decided, to study with the C.H.E.K Institute over the summers while building a clientele and getting my Level 1-3 as a Holistic Lifestyle Coach. As for this school year I am going to take any courses that will help prepare me for my auditions in the Spring!
I am absolutely thrilled to have come to a point where I know what I really want to do and how to make myself happy.
Taking part in and surrounding yourself with things you are passionate about completely helps to open your eyes and helps you to change your life for the better. Also an amazing support system of friends and family is SO important!
Start realizing your passions in life and go from there!
Tori J Wilcox