Selfishness: The Fine Line

Something I’ve noticed as of late is peoples reactions to my telling them that they have to invest in themselves. It seems some people take this as a green light to become selfish.

I can’t blame them, I’m often saying “You have to invest in you. You have to be a little selfish. Because if you don’t invest in you, you can’t make yourself or anyone else happy.”
However, what I mean when I say this is, yes be selfish in the sense of put yourself first but don’t forget that the people around you are a part of it as well. Now I’m not saying you shouldn’t do something for you because your best friend doesn’t believe in Hot Yoga. I’m saying be mindful that investing in you doesn’t mean shutting out your best buds and family. In fact you should include them as much as possible, if they love you they will support your new passion for yoga and meditation and being alcohol free. They may not understand it at first and that is fine. But being selfish also includes letting people in so you can express yourself outwards.

Being a little selfish is important to really giving a crap about yourself. But you must know that you cannot be truly happy without the help of those around you. We need one another, we can’t survive on our own. Being completely selfish is a lonely and unfulfilling road. So when I say be a little selfish, pay attention to the little part.

We are all here together so when I want you to invest in you its to benefit not only yourself and your true happiness but also to benefit the people around you who you care about.
Its just like when people say you cannot truly love someone and they cannot love you unless you love yourself. I want all of you to be so full of love for yourself and your happiness that it will easily flow over and touch those around you.

What I want you to understand is that if you are unhappy and I tell you to invest in yourself there is no way to properly invest in yourself if you blame the people around you or cut them out by being selfish. You can be selfish and still be warm and welcoming to your loved ones.

I don’t mean only do things for yourself and make every day a broadway musical centering on you and only you. I mean find things that you love and that you are passionate about and make the time to do those things. Finding the time and making the time to do those things will help make you into the best version of yourself, thus benefiting everyone.

It can be painting, doing yoga, dancing, drawing, acting, writing… anything that helps you to express yourself and anything that helps you to take notice in yourself and your bliss.

So please don’t become selfish, this will only damage you and the people around you. Become mindful and invest in you and reshape your life to surround your happiness.
You cannot be your truest and happiest self unless you are investing in you and surrounding yourself with your passions.

How do you know when you are being too selfish? Your emotions are a big tool for this. When you are not on the right path for you, your emotions will help you to see this. There are good and bad emotions and feelings. When you are investing in yourself and doing it with true intentions your emotions and feeling will reflect positively. When you are being selfish and you are not on the right path your emotions and feelings will tell you this by relfecting negatively. So be mindful of how you feel when you are investing in yourself and you will be notified.

Don’t only invest in the people around you. And don’t only worry about their well being. Take time for yourself and be happy!

Get happy,
Tori J Wilcox

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