About a month ago I had an experience that I think made me stronger. I was hit by a car. I was on my way to the bus terminal to go back home for a family event and I was crossing a side street when a cab turned into the side street and hit me. Luckily I jumped onto the hood and I had minor injuries. And to my shock the thing I heard the most after “Are you OK?” was “Are you going to sue him?”. My answer was no. People were confused, people persisted and people didn’t understand. If someone hit me why wasn’t I cashing in on their mistake? Because thats what it was, a mistake. People mess up. More importantly good people mess up. And I could tell he was a good person. Hell I had to calm him down! He was more upset than I was. He felt terrible and I witnessed that in his actions, heard it in his words and saw it in his eyes.
After the accident I looked within my heart and the first thing I saw wasn’t “sue him”. It was “I am so grateful I am OK. What is the universe trying to tell me?”. So I looked within my heart again and wondered why I didn’t jump to the idea of suing him, like everyone else, and I realized it didn’t sit right with me.
There is some pretty bad mojo out in the world today and I realized I didn’t want to add to it. So I chose not to sue him. I evaluated the situation and I thought about how I would feel suing him. To me it would feel malicious, unkind and cold. Now if the man had been a different person, if he had been an asshole then this story may have ended differently. But under these circumstances, I felt more happy being able to walk away relatively unscathed with both of us well without any bad blood. He still calls me to ask how I’m doing.
I feel like a stronger person because I was open and loving enough to let him off the hook, so to speak. He wasn’t being malicious, he wasn’t trying to hurt me, he was just a good man who made a wrong turn and I was the person who could have made it one of the worst turns of his life, or make it a memory of gratitude and positive change. So I chose the latter and my heart, every day, feels better because of this.
So what does this have to do with self love? For me I was actively loving myself and investing in myself by not doing something that everyone insisted I do. I listened to what was true to me and I followed my heart. This is huge when it comes to self love. There are so many situations we’re faced with and we don’t look inside to our true selves for the answer. I asked myself what would make me happy, in the truest form and that was to walk away from the situation cherishing my life and being grateful that I survived, for me that was enough. And I truly believe I gave him more of a learning and growing experience by forgiving him.
However having said all that each situation is unique and calls for a different plan. So I understand why people would choose a different path in a similar situation.
I’m sure you know the saying that everything happens for a reason. This I believe in because I think each situation, good or bad is a cause for reflection and a tool to create awareness. Both reflection and awareness are tools for bettering your self love. So sometime soon take a situation in your life and reflect on it, look within and ask yourself why or how this can help to make you a better, more fulfilled person. And how it can help you invest in self love.
Tori J Wilcox